I had the support of my partner, somewhat. We experienced it so differently though and it was hard for me that he could forget about it and go about his day, when I had to live with it, literally hold this sadness in my body, all of the time. He was loving and supportive but he couldn’t understand. It was a real strain on our relationship.

It was a friend of mine who drove us to Toronto. She was amazing and helped to set everything up, dropping us off and picking us up from the clinic and inviting us to stay at her mother’s house. Her mom also did some simple relaxation exercises with me afterwards – she’s a psychotherapist. The hope was to diminish any trauma that may have resulted from the experience.

My friends were loving and tried to take care of me in various ways. Immediately following I didn’t know anyone else who had been through that experience though and I felt very isolated. People could be supportive but no one could relate. No one really knew what to say or what questions to ask. Later I found 2 of my older friends had also had abortions and having conversations with them, though brief, was important to my healing.

After my abortion I visited a counselor at the Peterborough women’s health centre. It was a good visit, unfortunately though it happened on a good day where I felt very calm and together. Most days were not like that. I should have gone back to her again but I never did.

I didn’t tell my mom until about 4 months later, when I had a small breakdown. Telling her was very important to my healing, but I didn’t figure that out for a long time.

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