Erin

I found out I was pregnant just as I was starting my second year of medical school. I
remember thinking that I should have known better, since I was a less than two years away
from being a doctor. For me, the choice was already made – I wasn’t ready to have a baby
logistically, emotionally, or financially. My best friend flew in from Halifax to be with me at the
appointment, and that still brings tears to my eyes. I was lucky to have the support of amazing
friends and my parents. I don’t feel regret or guilt, just sadness that it had to happen. Despite
what anyone might think, I can’t wait to have children when the time is right for me. I’m sad
that my first pregnancy had to be a secret, when you assume it will be this wonderful,
celebrated exerience. In that way, having an abortion changed my life story, but it hasn’t, and
won’t, change who I am. I wish more women could talk about their experiences because I
think we all need support from others who can say “yeah, me too”. If I can use my experience
to help others, it will be worth it. I am proud to call myself a pro-choice doctor-to-be.

I had a lot of support from good friends and my parents. I felt so lucky to have these people in
my life – my mom was, and still is, my rock. I still talk to her about it from time to time. I didn’t go
for formal counselling after. The day of my abortion I spoke to a social worker for about 10
minutes. When she asked me if my partner knew about the abortion, I couldn’t look her in the
eye when I told her that there really wasn’t a partner to speak of, and no, he didn’t know I was
pregnant or here today. She just nodded her head and moved on. I was relieved to not feel
judged over that aspect of my situation. The support I got from my friends and family was
incredibly helpful – I don’t know what I would have done without them.

I want my photo taken because I don’t want to have to keep silent about my experience. I made
a choice for myself and I don’t feel like I should hide that. Ever since I had my abortion, I have
struggled to find a way to make it a meaningful experience. If I can inspire other women to be
brave in the face of their decision or help someone feel like they aren’t alone, it will be worth
it.

I think women are pressured to feel like they should just get over it, and move on. They didn’t
want the baby, so why should they grieve or feel sad? They should feel only relief. That
makes me sad. There are so many emotions that go into ending a pregnancy, women should
feel allowed to however they want. They shouldn’t feel guilt over not feeling guilt, either. My
best friend flew down from Halifax to be with me for my abortion and right before we left for
the hospital she said “I want you to know that I support you in any way you want to handle
this. If you want to grieve and be sad, I’ll listen to you and be here for you. If you want to move
on and never talk about, I’ll do that”. It was exactly the right thing to say, and the thing that
every women should hear before their abortion.