I was twenty-two years old. I was living in Vancouver away from family and friends. I got pregnant from a friend of mine, during a brief affair, he was married and I was not ready for a child.

I had the abortion at the Morgantaler clinic in Winnipeg, Manitoba. My family lives in Winnipeg and my parents reluctantly supported me, they were unhappy I got pregnant in the first place, my parents took me to the clinic and waited until I was done. They both took me back to their place and nursed me (I was sick from the anesthesia) back to health.

I had know about the Morgantaler clinic because growing up in Winnipeg, it was a very controversial clinic, it was in papers a lot for people protesting its existence and Morgantaler was a well know figure in town. I knew where the clinic was and found it very accessible, although it was expensive for a ‘starving’ university student ($500). I had no anti-choice interference from protestors, family or friends.

When I was faced with the decision to have an abortion, I knew it was the right thing to do; I was not ready to me a mother. Now, I still feel the same. I have two children of my own, and I don’t regret my abortion.

I think most people (women) don’t talk about abortion because they feel, if they had one, it will instantly convey a judgment about their sexuality or that it will make them look slutty. I am very frustrated with this lack of openness and feel sad that more women can’t share their experiences. I found out through my grandmother that my mother had an abortion when she was sixteen years old and during my abortion experience she never told me. I would have loved to hear my mother’s experience, it would have alleviated my shame and isolation.

My abortion was almost a decade ago and for the better part of the last ten years it has been something that I seldom think about, but I am thinking of my choice more and more recently and I feel that suddenly I want to talk about it and there isn’t anyone around who knows. Maybe I feel “safer” talking to strangers and sharing my experiences with people I have never met … this would be one way of sharing this with people I have never met.   I also believe that I need to put my mouth where my heart is. This is something that I am willing to stand up and say is important.

I was really disappointed with the after experience from the clinic. After I had “recovered” and was being ushered out, I was pulled over by a nurse, in front of all the other women who were also “recovering” and told what I should or should not do / expect. She also proceeded to tell me that if I was going to engage in “reckless behavior” I should be on the pill. She didn’t think that my excuse was “good enough”.

It is our body … why should we be empowered to make decisions about every other aspect of our bodies and lives but this? This is the single greatest decision a woman can make because of the long-term consequences it can have. Having a baby changes everything (and sometimes for the better). I also think that it sucks that men get off so easily. If they are not comfortable with the path, they can walk away. Not so easy for woman, this is our way of walking away. I actually think that pro-choice is pro-life, the life of the woman!

I was about to turn 24. I was in a mixed-up relationship; one that was not solid by any means. We had been dating for a few months. He was a “born-again” catholic. I was impressionable & pretty disempowered when it came to sexual relationships. I always had been. We had regular, unprotected sex. Stupid, I know. I found out that I was pregnant just before I defended my master’s thesis & just after I had moved to a new city to look for a career of sorts. He wanted the baby, but wasn’t sure that he wanted me. I wanted love or a life to myself. I considered my options. He moved halfway across the country. I chose what was best for me at that time in my life.

I had the full support of my family & friends to make the choice that was right for me. My older brother offered to adopt the baby if I chose to carry to term. My mother offered to come & stay with me during the procedure if I chose to end the pregnancy. The man with whom I had become pregnant & with whom I was in an unstable relationship did not want me to terminate the pregnancy. He was sure that he wanted a baby, but he was not sure that he wanted me. But he also suggested that it was my decision to make, which was confusing for me. These differing perspectives/offers of support did not make my decision an easy one, though I knew that I would be supported no matter my choice. I was also faced with the challenges of starting a new life post graduate studies. I appreciated the support that I received, but it would have been nice to have had someone to talk to who had been in a similar situation & who had faced similar challenges.

The man I was with was anti-choice in a general way because of his “religious” beliefs but he still told me that it was my choice to make. So I was never really sure what he thought. I felt as though I was holding his personal demons in my hands as well as my own. Outside the clinic, there was an ad billboard that had anti-choice posters in it. No doubt strategically chosen. One thing that surprised & comforted me was the presence of a visibly pregnant intake support worker at the clinic. That made me really understand the meaning of choice — making the best decision for me in those circumstances. For a number of years afterwards, I actually walked past the clinic location on my way to work & noticed a lone elderly man protesting most days. His presence made me very angry. I often imagined confronting him or stomping on his placards… but I never did.

Some pressure women to feel ashamed & full of regret. Some pressure women to feel liberated & proud. I have felt both from different sources — media, women’s rights groups, anti-choice advertising. I feel trapped by the various pressures. My default position is to stay silent about my experience.

I am a mother of four great people.

I am also an elected woman in civic government.

I have had an abortion.

I had my abortion when I was 18, four months ago. I was living with my boyfriend, and working as a waitress.

My mom took me to the abortion, my boyfriend did not want to go. My mom was really supportive. I needed that, and I wished my boyfriend had been there, especially when i chose to look at the ultrasound. He felt uncomfortable and wouldn’t give me head for months after cause he felt my pussy was dirty and sad.

It was not hard for me to find the clinic, a friend and then my councilor told me everything I needed to know eg. hospital vs. Clinic etc. I then waited a month for it. Waiting was hard because i was sick, and working. Very depressed.

I had a Muslim coworker tell me not to have my abortion. I was pissed. Once i communicated with her though, she understood and respected MY CHOICE. Then there was a protester at the door of the clinic, an old man. I saw him and i felt so MAD at him that i just cried on the street.

I’m really open, my parents, brother, friends, 3 or 4 of my coworkers, councilor etc. all knew about my abortion. I really didn’t want my manager to find out because i thought he might cut my shifts.

I have heard my friends and family members talk about their abortions. It has helped me ALOT, (IT WAS THE THING THAT HELPED ME THE MOST) because it helped me feel normal, and not ashamed as i did in the beginning.

I am pro-choice because i believe a women should have the right to choose where, when, and how she will reproduce. we only have babies because of the grace of women, and respect, appreciation, and understanding are due.

I think we need to stand up and be counted.  I am not ashamed and I think we need to be seen- a diverse group of women from all ages, cultures and walks of life who have had an abortion.

Abortion was not legal and it was a terrifying experience.  When I didn’t heal well after the abortion I was terrified to go to the doctor because abortion was illegal.  What if I got arrested?

You had to ask around the grapevine until you finally met someone who knew someone, who knew someone….

I am not ashamed to tell my young daughters about my experience.

i am a woman living in toronto. i had an abortion 6 years ago. i am pro-choice.

We need to fight the notion that abortion is something shameful, something that we must hide and feel guilty about.

It was also fortunate that I discovered my pregnancy early. If it had been much later, 3 weeks may have been too late to have it done in my province.

I have to admit that I felt very little about it. I did not experience guilt or sadness. Mostly, I felt grateful that I had access to the service, but I also felt that it was my right to have it. I continue to be relieved that I was able to have an abortion when I needed one.

It’s politically charged, yes, but it’s not inherently political. It’s a basic healthcare service and we should be able to talk about it.

I think we are trained to feel guilty, or sad. That being said, I understand that for some women, abortion can be an emotionally difficult experience, and I respect that. At the same time, however, I wonder to what extent these feelings are influenced by the way abortion is treated in the broader society. If we weren’t told that we should feel guilty or sad, and that we might need counseling, and that it might be an emotionally trying experience, would we feel this way at all?

I think that sometimes, we are told we should feel guilty. Why should we?

I want to help take away the shame of abortion.  Many women have had one for many reasons.  Coming out will help others feel less bad about their decision and tell people that we need to keep working towards safe, accessible abortions in Canada.

I want to put a face to it.

I was 27, the pregnancy was the result of a short relationship while travelling.  He lives in another country and I never told him (I found out after I got home).  I was starting a new job, new relationship, etc and was just not yet ready to become a parent.  I did go on to have 3 beautiful babies.

My friend came with me.  She was the only person I told at the time.  She was wonderful – supportive, loving, non-judgmental.  The clinic was amazing and let her into the recovery area – none of the male partners were allowed however.

There is fear of being judged negatively and more recently, the fear of it impacting my professional standing.  I work with pregnant women and it is such a “hot button”, I wouldn’t want to jeopardize my career.

I think that we are supposed to feel badly about it.  Even to regret it to a certain extent.  I do not feel badly – I hate that I had to make the decision but feel I made the right one.  I choose to share the information only with people I know will support me and not make me feel a specific way.

We have not journeyed to the east coast yet but these stories are an incredibly important part of abortion rights in Canada.  Women from Prince Edward Island must travel out of province for the procedure.  In New Brunswick, the government refuses to cover clinic abortions.  The struggle continues.

We WILL get to the east coast soon.  Until then, these are the stories of some women from Eastern Canada.

Whitefeather

I want to break down any stereotypes about the “types” of women who have abortions or work to protect abortion rights (i.e. ignorant, victimized, man-haters). I am well educated, informed, empowered and have a family that includes a planned child.

I had some emotional support from my family, as well as full coverage through medicare. ALSO, most importantly, my family doctor was a feminist and acted quickly both times to make sure that I had the best care possible. This is the way abortion access should be, but things have changed now and women in New Brunswick do not have empowered, informed and healthy experiences like I had, for the most part. I did not have to deal with any aggressive religious protestors, I did not have to deal with unweildy costs when I was already financially unstable, I did not have to deal with any unreasonable waiting times, I did not have to deal with shame or victimization. My experiences were the best that they could be, given the experience. I was relieved and grateful. I was also emotionally vulnerable at the time, but got through it quickly. I have no scars or baggage around my experience. This is the kind of experience I’d like to see all women be able to have.

I had full access, although the legislation that states that it had to be a therapeutic abortion approved by two doctors was a definite intimidating threat at first. If my doctor had not been a compassionate feminist, I don’t know what would have happened. She considered the abortion to be therapeutic for my mental and emotional wellbeing, but the term ‘therapeutic’ and the legislation is all very loosely outlined and open to the individual doctors’ discretion. I know that this has limited access for other women in the province – friends of mine with less compassionate, more religious doctors.

Wendy

My right to choose, your right to choose, though supported through laws and conventions, seems to constantly be in jeopardy. Why does this continue to be at the whim of those least directly affected on a personal level? Why do women and womens’ groups have to perpetually wage a war of wills around our rights, our access, our value? How many generations will this take? Will it surprise the general population that women who have had abortions don’t look particularly heinous, cold, or ruthless; that they look like your mom, your sister, your daughter, your friend? Will my photograph and/or story help move this forward? I don’t know though I would like to say I expect so. Today it seems that this is a right decision for me. Here and now is a good time to say, yes.

My first abortion was in a hospital where I was screened through a TA committee and the second was in a clinic. They were very different experiences. My partner was with me during the process of the first abortion although hospital processes did not allow him much participation; nor did he want to be, for that matter, as he and I were not yet invested in the relationship. The nurses I encountered during the experience were very warm, informative, and supportive. Looking back, they were the only real support I felt. The doctors were not supportive and I had quite an negative interaction with one of them – this happened to occur while he sat between my legs giving me an internal exam – belittling, offensive, worthy of a heel slipping out of the stirrup (which it did only inside my head). As the hospital I was attending was a teaching hospital, doctors on rotation performed abortions. Not all of them supported a woman’s right to choose. My first doctor, who performed my internal exam in order to determine how far into the pregnancy I was, was obviously challenged by his role on this earth. As he sat between my legs (you know the set up) he looked up at the nurse and, I quote, said ?I have an amusing sexist joke to tell you?. I remember anger and humiliation and utter helplessness. He had already made it clear that he had power and I did not. I believed that my access to that abortion hinged on his yay or nay. He gave me a stern lecture on birth control and told me that he would prescribe birth control pills for me. He made certain to point out that I would be prescribed the 28 day packet (surely women in need of abortions could not be trusted to properly ingest pills in a 21 day packet).

Though it is now quite a long time ago and some of my memories are gone, I remember feeling very daunted by the screening of the Therapeutic Abortion Committee at the Hospital. It was clear to me, at every step, that the process could be denied to me. Such a momentous decision about my life in the hands of others; people who did not know me, people who went home at the end of the day after having done their jobs. I remember being quite frightened. I don’t remember talking with anyone about these feelings.

I am pro-choice…because I breathe, how could I be other?